Thursday Guest Blog: Sara Martin

I am so excited to share our Thursday Guest Blog Spot with you today!  Please let me introduce an amazing person, writer and friend. I have the honor of calling her one of my tribe, and I am excited to share her journey with you. Please help me in thanking Sara, and take some time to read her story.

Sara

Something I have come to understand as a fundamental truth hidden deep within us all – growth for all it’s talked about as something we need to do and how good it is for us, is often a trigger that sends us running. I can hear eyes rolling now, but hear out the logic.

Human nature follows cycles and patterns – proven throughout history. It’s how we learned to till the land, to raise a heard and to keep safe. We see a change in the wind, we know a storm is coming and to batten down the hatches. Nature has its ways of talking to us – some more obvious than others. Because of this change – a disruption of our known cycle – brought fear. Because it was unknown, it was starting a new cycle, it was doing… well changing things.

This is where growth comes in. We talk about growth being healthy, being a part of life because we can see how growth is a part of the cycle. Yet we know at the core of us growth also means change, change triggers the fear which makes us afraid of what growth will bring because we like comfort, we like our illusion of control.

Think about it – how many situations, chance encounters have you avoided where looking back you can see now how it may have helped you grow? But because you were knee jerked scared of it you chose to “take control” and walk another path? How many times have you told yourself “someday” or “when you have time/money/energy/courage” to do something because comfort matters more than the risk of the “change” to comfort?

Because at the core – that fear of change can be crippling. It’s why we’ve taken to saying “Grow” instead of change. Both are synonymous really, but the way we handle the words any more growth is praised, while change is seen negatively – only still in side, in the back of our minds we know is the truth. Its. The. Same. Thing.

Think on it for a moment, have you ever ran in to an old friend who has said “Wow how you’ve grown” and you’ve been proud? Or had another old friend spit the words in anger about “how you’ve changed”? Funny how words can shape our view of the world, yet even still inside we know what they mean at a primal level.

Yet back to my point about cycles – growth is an intricate part of the cycle of life. Up or down – growth needs to happen for plants to flourish, rivers to remain, oceans to fill with life and for the world to sing that lovely song as the seasons change. To try to stop it is like holding back the ocean from raising the tide when the moon calls for it – you can try, you can fight it, and you can keep it back for a while. Eventually though it breaks through in often dramatically glorious fashion.

Believe me on that – I tried, and it nearly cost me my life. I shut down anything in me that seemed to reach for growth, I turned away from it till I was living a lie and my worst fear at the same time. I was at the edge, ready for death because I stopped functioning in a cycle and kept trying to force myself on a path that wasn’t my own.

I was trying to stop my own growth in the way nature called for it, as my path called for it. Something in me knew better – that same part of me that knows change and growth are the same thing carefully put down a path back to where I belonged.

Since my own personal… Pompeii if you will – I’ll just use that to describe the emotional devastation of my wake up call. I’ve observed others have these same near cataclysmic events emotionally and mentally in their lives. Each time, it’s a reminder of how growth cannot be shut out. And in doing so – we risk a great deal of ourselves for the sake of what we think is “comfort”.

I told a friend who is going through her own events right now this…

“Your cycles no longer match.

You’ve been shut in a false winter for too long and now you are in full bloom of your spring. Growth is unchecked as you are now able to explore parts of yourself you denied and locked away… revel in it.

He however is passing in to fall and eventually a cold self-imposed winter because all he sees is you changing from the growth and hates it.”

Growth is uncomfortable, it’s painful in a great many cases and the changes that come in the wake of growth upend our lives sometimes – but we always come out better because of it.

How have you grown today?

 

5 Comments

  1. Amy

    This is so well put. Thank you. I think we all need to remember that we are all growing and when things get hard, someone out there has an ear ready and available. Sometimes just as growth is hard, sharing your struggles with it can be just as hard. We tend to judge our growth on the growth of others, but must remember that our path and journey is unique and can not be compared to another. You are a beautiful soul and I am glad I have gotten the privilege of knowing you. Again, thank you for sharing of yourself.

    Reply
    1. Sara

      We are all learning – we are all figuring things out as we go. Sharing with each other things we’ve discovered for our selves can sometimes help give others perspective about themselves. I’ve learned that much.

      Sharing is how we gain, we don’t loose when we share with others. We gain their observations on our stories as well as friends who know us better for who we are.

      Reply
  2. Shannon Waites (Post author)

    I appreciate this, and think it is a wonderful reminder that change and growth isn’t easy. So often we hear those words and forget the work that goes behind them. Our bodies and minds can get used to a certain way of living, of reacting and of seeing our world. To change that, can be a hard road filled with much introspection. I am so honored to be apart of this journey with you and to see how far you have come. You have so much to offer others. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    Reply
  3. jade

    Humans seem to be the only species that will try and adapt to stay in circumstances that no longer fit than to expect change, allow it to occur without trying to have the illusion of control. This was a lovely reminder and hopefully an empowering moment for you. <3

    Reply
  4. Belle

    Sara,

    I have seen you grow so much, and by passing your knowledge on has made sit back and realize that growth comes for many reasons, and you are always willing to help, I blessed to call you family as well, thank you for sharing!

    Reply

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *