While big things in relationships can be wonderful, in reality it’s the little things you do that will help nurture and keep the connection in your relationships. If you don’t water a plant it will eventually die. It is the same with our relationships. The little things are the water that will keep you connected, happy and moving forward!
5 Skills to practice:
1. Become and Expert.. in your partner! Think about who they really are. Where did they come from? How were they raised? What are their dreams and passions? Sometimes we can get caught up in what WE THINK they want. But, it’s important to really tune into them. Find out what resonates with them. What makes sense and why.
2. Don’t ask them how their day was! A generic question will get a generic response. Fine…OK…Long…Busy. These one word answers won’t bring you any closer to learning about your partner and connecting with them. Instead try asking things like;, “what made you smile today?” “What was the most challenging part of your day?” Questions like these will bring you a greater insight of your partner, as well as let them know that you really care.
3. Create a weekly ritual: The length of time doesn’t matter, but to create an intentional appointment with each other is important. It can be a date night, a walk, snuggles and conversation or trying something new.
4. Get it on!: Touching, kissing and bed room moments are a vital component of a romantic relationship. While the frequency is up to the both of you, it is imperative that you have these moments in your relationship. Giving each other a 6 second kiss when you come together at the end of a long day, Holding hands in the movie theater and intimacy in the bedroom. There are so many ways you can connect on a sexual level, have fun exploring them together!
5. Seek to understand..not agree: Like we already talked about, disagreements will happen. When this occurs conversations can quickly turn to arguments when we are invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right, or with the intent to change their opinion. Instead, approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your partner’s perspective. This perspective can bring up dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration. Talk, share, and hear each other.
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