I hope you enjoy reading Shellie’s journey. It is a story of self discovery, relationship growth and being open to change. While our destinations are different and are still to be discovered, the joy and pain of being open to growth is something I think we all have in common. – Shannon
Our journey has been one roller coaster after another but we are finally on the path we have always wanted.
My Back Story
I have always have the urge to serve people whether it was my parents, my peers, or even people I had just met. I never knew why I had this urge but it was there from a very young age. In my late teens I started reading A LOT of books (mostly romance with a touch of erotic which of course led to more and more erotic). There were so many different kinds of relationships in these books and each one of them called to me in different ways. The books that involved BDSM and D/s relationships had the strongest pull. After reading quite a few of these books I understood why I had the urge to serve people and also why I enjoyed taking direction from men I dated (sexually or in everyday life)..I was a submissive. Nothing became of this revelation for years and years..I pushed it deep down inside myself as I was afraid something was wrong with me.
I met my husband Doug at work (he was my boss) and He helped me through a major tragedy in my early 20s. We started dating not long after and got married in January 2001. We had a wonderful relationship and great sex life but I always had that side of me that was dying to come out and show itself to the world. Finally after years and years of marriage I approached Doug with some information about D/s relationships 4 years ago. I didn’t want to be pushy but I felt like something was always lacking between us. He told me that he would do some research on the subject..He didn’t really make a huge effort. We tried a few things out..more sexual than mental/emotional like I was craving. Part of our issue has been that even though we were public about our relationship, we had an 18 year old daughter and my mother living with us so we hid a lot of what we did behind closed doors..kneeling at His feet, etc. Instead of sitting down and talking to Him, I turned to the Internet. I joined some Facebook groups and dove right in. Unfortunately it almost cost me my marriage because I had been texting and messaging a couple who were looking to add a submissive to their relationship. This had gone on for a few months and Doug finally caught me. The aftermath was devastating..He didn’t talk to me for 3 whole days..wouldn’t even look at me. I sat in our bedroom and cried for 36 hours..I didn’t eat at all and only forced what little bit of liquid I could get down my throat without throwing up. I had been a total idiot and thought I had lost the best person who ever stepped into my life. He told me that to save what we had that I was to disassociate myself from everyone I met in those groups and to not bring up BDSM or D/s again unless He did. That is exactly what I did because I did truly love Him more than anything.
During the months that followed I started reading heavily again and joined some Facebook groups for authors/readers. While in these groups I met some terrific people and some of the authors wrote BDSM/erotica which I still loved to read. Doug saw some of the books that I was reading and also noticed that I just wasn’t myself anymore. He approached me about what was going on and if I wanted to give D/s another shot. We had some very long discussions about it all and finally agreed to take that next step. We both did lots of soul-searching and research. We discovered quite a bit about ourselves..we found we fit into the Daddy/babygirl relationship. After a couple of months we also figured out that I loved pain and He loved to provide me with it (after He got over the whole “OMG I’m leaving marks on the woman I love” stage).
Growth within Ourselves
A Facebook friend who was an author and had become a very close friend of mine invited us to come to Phoenix, AZ for the 2013 Southwest Leather Conference. We decided that it would be a great way to learn and discover more about ourselves while meeting people and learning more in real life as well. Man oh man what an eye opening experience it was. I was able to kneel for and serve Him in public and no one batted an eyelash. It was absolutely freeing and I knew at that moment I never wanted anything more than this type of relationship..one where I was utterly devoted to Him and served His needs before my own. We got home and our communication level was up 500%. Things were going strong.
We had discussed taking our D/s one step further..TPE (Total Power Exchange). I had been floundering big time..frustrated because I was having so many decisions laid on me at work and making them at home as well so we knew this was the right step for us. Daddy felt I needed more structure..chores, rules, and routines..and I really started to flourish more and more with this new direction..I really started to flourish more and more with this direction.
During all of this I was still reading and meeting new people on Facebook. I heard about an event that was happening in Tampa called “Writer’s Lab”.. It was for authors and readers to understand BDSM more. Daddy and I decided to go so we could meet some of my wonderful friends in real life and learn more about the lifestyle. What an amazing event..we met so many people that lived near us and found out that there was a whole community of like-minded people just like us in Tampa. We discovered that our D/s didn’t quite fit any exact label/box. We were a mix of so many different ones and that was okay.
After that weekend we were brought into the fold of the community by the people we had met at Writer’s Lab. We felt like we finally belonged somewhere. Over the next 2 years we attended events such as FPE (Florida Power Exchange), Kinky Campout, Beyond Leather, and Florida Leather-n-Fetish Pride where we delved deeper into our relationship and selves. More friendships and close relationships were made. People who became our chosen family..ones that were closer to us than our blood family and were always there for us.
I discovered that I am a service submissive, a babygirl, a masochist, a brat, and a little..He discovered He is a Dominant, a Daddy, and a Sadist..and we are still discovering new things daily.
The Start of a New Journey
In December 2015, Daddy took a new job and we had to move away from all of our family and friends. I truly don’t handle change well at all..I was lonely while He was working all the time. One of the things we had always discussed but never thought would happen was making our twosome a triad. We both knew that we had a ton of love to share with someone else and that we were looking for someone to be a permanent part of our lives. I had been talking to a Facebook friend of mine, Leah who lives in Wisconsin, in January about an author/reader event in Nashville that we were both attending in May. A joke was made that sure we could share a room but my husband/Dominant was coming as well and I said “I’d be happy to share Him with you”. I wasn’t really joking..I thought she was a beautiful person..inside and out..and thought that Daddy would think so also. Over the next few months the three of us talked via text, Facebook messenger and email since we were long distance. We developed individual relationships while we were cultivating our poly relationship. In April, Leah or Kitten as we call her came to visit us for the first time in person. We have met up for a weekend every month since then so we can have that personal contact with each other.
Fast forward to today..we are 7 months into this journey and couldn’t be happier. We have a love between the three of us that grows by leaps and bounds every single minute of every day. We have discussed the future..hopefully not too far down the road we will all be together under one roof and seeing what other new journeys we can take with each other.
I have now discovered I am a switch also 🙂 Who knows what is around the corner for us but I personally can’t wait to see.